Ranuka, one of my readers brought up an interesting topic - hooking up. This has been used back and forth and it's an interesting topic. Not because of the physical aspect but the whole concept. One can hook up with a boyfriend/girlfriend, that's acceptable but having a friends-with-benefits relationship, not so much.
Personally, I like the idea of a friends-with-benefits idea - everyone really does benefit. The comfort of a physical relationship without all the messiness of an emotional connection, but like most ideas, it is not always practical. And like most ideas, you need a game plan, and I am quite happy to provide one :-
To be an effective f*** buddy, one must not have any sort of emotional connection. Do not try and be friends with this particular friend. Being friends will automatically get you an emotional connection and if you have that, the point of being friends-with-benefits does loose its benefits.
This includes no power struggles, sense of ego and so on. Do not try and figure things out in a rational manner, just know this is what you are using each other for, and that's it. Once you start analyzing your role is, what the other person thinks of you, you are creating an emotional attachment and that is never good for this type of relationship nor your own ego.
Talking about ego, in this, you have NO ego. You are in this situation not because you wanted a relationship or that you deserve one, it is because you just want to enjoy the physical aspects of being with someone. That's all. Do not expect anything more.
Remember, this is a low maintainence relationship - if you cannot make this work, your partner will figure it out and move on. It is not very complicated as long as you do not allow yourself to get involved.
Give me everything tonight - Ne-yo
It's not that easy my friend...After all we are humans, not robots. Eventually emotions creep in. You begin to wonder what they might be doing (when you are not with them).
ReplyDeleteThe trick is to move out (or stay away for a while) when you find yourself in that zone. It's selfish, but then again both parties agreed it was NSA.
Maybe that's why there is so much passion in a one night stand. You know there want be another time, so you don't hold anything back. Every sec counts.. no time for analysing, no time to reflect, bcos at the end you need to get back to where ever you are, before the cock crows.
Ranuka, never said it was easy buddy. Of course emotions come in, its only human. But if you are able to do it, great! I think that is what happened with my friend and I after that trip. Both of us thought we felt something for each other and we just avoided each other.
ReplyDeleteI love your pun - "the cock crows".. hehe maybe it is time for me to sleep :)
No pun intended ;)
ReplyDeleteyou sure? :D sure sounded like it!!
ReplyDelete