I don't have the heart

Is it possible to fall out of love with someone and fall into the valley of 'like'? I look at you, sitting across the table from me, and sigh to myself... I know in my heart, that we are on two different sides of the ocean - you love me, not because of me but because you have no one else, and I, i don't know what to do... The worst thing is, to be stuck here and in a position where you don't know what to do. Two different personalities, two different views...

I want to love you, i really do but i know it wont be true to you.. Its not that i didn't try, i truly did and now, i don't know whats left. You may think i have led you on, you may think i have someone else, but i truly don't.. but i cant handle 'us' anymore.

the accusations you throw at me, I just have to accept and leave aside. i shouldn't have to justify what i have done and you have no right to make me feel bad for being me. Should I?

There are times you make it easy for me to hate you, does that make it easier for you to hate me? I have always tried to do right by you and right by me, but should i have to feel guilty when i have done nothing wrong?

i have cried so much, and just when i think i don't have tears left, they spring up again like water rising from dried up spouts, and gush down into puddles in my palms. but is it me, or is it you or is it something else entirely?

to answer your eternal question - "where did we go wrong?" - i guess the answer is, "where did we ever go right?" We looked for answers in places that wasn't there and we made up our responses to suit our situation. We needed another person in our lives, to fulfill the loneliness we felt. Unfortunately, we realized only now that this puzzle was not to be.

Love should not be hard, it should not be painful. And i am tired of love, I am tired of the sadness it brings. I know i am not perfect, i don't expect to be but i shouldn't have to feel bad for what and who i am, when i have done nothing wrong to warrant it. But its a long road ahead and i will have to travel on it alone, dodging the accusations by all along its path, avoiding the traps of hatred and speed bumps of manipulation as they come along and somehow stay strong.

I don't have the heart - James Ingram